Log Title: turn out a number of jokes, posted for all to laugh:)
Published :2006-5-8 10:50:00
log: 1. One day, Xiao Ming's future wife's mother came to his home guests, wife's mother: pain up, he thought to himself: a ~ ~ must be driven out of the 2 ass, wife's mother is still yelling white ~ ~ ass when he placed third time to see the wife's mother rushed out and cursed, said: 2. a pair of very deep loving couples are celebrating their golden wedding day. to watch the middle-aged neighbor wants to know the first question: quarrel voice, Do not you never been any dispute between you? inconvenience to our honeymoon in the Grand Canyon, one of the hired a donkey. She's obviously lazy ass, walk did not take long to rely on the roadside to rest. I just heard my wife said coldly: 『first time.』 the second time to lazy ass, she pointed to a donkey, said: `This is the second time.』 When the donkey refused to go the third time, she calmly took out her rented pistol, put it to shoot! coldly said to me: the first 』『 cool 3. One day, Xiao Ming plaster hands, the teacher asked: : Rod shook his foot to a stone falls out, passers-by thought I saw an electric shock to the hand with a wooden stick to hit me so. Teacher: 4. One day, a university students in the arts community to the calligrapher that an elderly home in seven-year-old , the group of students visit on the calligrapher; students to ask questions calligrapher, calligrapher calligraphy on the side of the side to answer ..., chatting chatting students suddenly saw a dish of peanuts on the desk, and that students are welcome to eat , accidentally eating a full apology in which a student said; to apologize for the peanuts to eat, slowly raised his head and saw the calligrapher said to them; does not matter, because I like to eat chocolate, but I own a big old bite fixed so I usually eat chocolate regarded inside the peanut then spit in the dish; students ....... 5. Police caught a steal at the beach fill lobster men, for men shall be a fine punishment h: washed into the sea to swim, as long as I whistle, they swim back! how to make your pet lobster called back. look, you have Miss A? mother gifted quickly that there are A, O, so she let's all call in Miss Arong pick, Arong looked at places to pick one to accompany. night told her xxxx him, and asked how much money one night, one night a thousand dollars, said Miss O, Arong say: your service really good, I'll give you 1 million good. Miss elegant feel that they encountered, and told him that if Tomorrow there is a need to play 1380 ****** her. Arong called it the next day, Miss, she harder than yesterday, the service Arong, Arong gave her a million. lady asked him to A few days, Arong that lived 3 days you, your services, what trouble the third day. The first 3 days very happy lady down the service harder, Arong still gave him a million. It was around the Ms can not help but sigh, said: long time never met such good people like you off the, yes, sir, come from? Arong said: I Miss from the Shandong Province, said a coincidence ... you Yo, I is where the people Yo, you should not be on the Yangcun are you? Arong said: Yeah! Yeah! I live Murao Ah! Miss wrote: What a coincidence, ah, I live right end of the village, what are you come to Beijing for ? Arong said. no problem, I travel to Beijing, take along the way, I asked your mother give you 3 million What is the difference】 【dumbfounding? father said: pass key for my father by amplifying the small catch ---- the new father: ? you? you have the wrong. Will Stallone in it? Arnold Schwarzenegger blanket! Well, you die! a father and a phone call in the past ---- Dad: Try ---?, this interval of time before anyone connected, a connected call each other: Oh, really sorry! as just one trick, I did not mean to criticize your ------- What is dumbfounding】 【it? is Stallone, will just have no phone to me .......two bullets to kill green and red ghost ghosts? A: The first shot green ghost, ghosts scare the body such as the red blue and then as long as the situation got to h 9. morning I went to a foreign company to contact the business is completed, take the elevator downstairs. the elevator stopped at a floor, the door opened, saw a sexy girl dress, one hand holding handbags in one hand and hold the elevator door, leaning against the body, teasingly asked me: enough debauchery? I control the calm the raging trend analysis, people company is different, people are open to female employees of foreign companies, no wonder some people say that we lag behind than they are at least three decades, this sentence is justified. I said quietly: lewd lascivious the point is But I like it. I know I say this certainly looks cool, as a backbone influenced by traditional Chinese culture, children, the new trend in the new era of efforts to change their thinking before, not willing to fall behind. all of a sudden he girl suddenly hit me with handbags, the side said: This rogue !...... you Then I wake up, because she said was: Going Down, right? 10. One day, the serpent with the snake in the walk. pat snake serpent asked: serpent .. we really poisonous? ? . how to tell the octopus hands and feet? We often say that the octopus has eight legs, but it was also said to be eight tentacles. that in the end octopus has a few hands, a few feet? how to distinguish between hand and foot? Think about it, the right approach for a look at the answer: First catch an octopus, and then hammer to its head crushed, the octopus will touch your head is hands and feet the other is Hello. Method Two: If the octopus is the mother, then going to rape it, fake it, not when it has been fierce, said that a few of the hand waving, the other a few feet clip is tight. Method three: fart smell to it, it will is to hand over his nose, the other is the feet. Method four: give it a computer, is the hands on the keyboard, disk shrink up in the chair is the foot. Method Five: Summer, and will grasp the foot in Hong Kong of the hand, of course, is caught foot Hello! 12. a man a fire in his house, he hit 119, which is the following dialogue: ; at my house ah! train?! children are so ugly! 』could not help but cry after hearing the woman out, without the knowledge of the train saw the waitress do not know why the woman crying and so sad, so they want to comfort the woman said to her:『 Do not sorry again, and to drink a glass of water break. Oh, yes, there's a banana, give your monkey to eat! 』14. a man because they have to catch a boat, so the fastest car rushed to the dock. When he was open to the pier to see the ship has left the shore. He put a lock the door immediately to run the speed meter jump onto the boat, the action at one go, without any pause. He acted scared the whole boat people. very strange captain, said: Mr. ... it .... the ship has not docked 15. One day, a boor to a movie. After buying a ticket, entered the theater, but after a for a while, then angrily walked out to buy a ticket, went into the cinema. The ticket lady was very surprised, but still sold to him. Results After a minute, you see that yokel frantically rushed to the ticket booth, and then bought a ticket. The ticket lady asked him, a lady tear up my ticket. out of one thousand yuan to buy toys. Clerk: Well, little brother, this is a fake toy money can not buy a plane Oh! Xiao Ming: your aircraft is not really ah! 18. year-old daughter, Lily did not understand her mother Why is there a scar on belly. my mother explained to Lily: This is a doctor cut a knife, put you out of the place. Lili seriously for a moment, very seriously asked my mother: What did you eat me? 19. a at home when her daughter told her: . Teacher: our school from the next semester, taught in English to switch. A student: Wow! We do not understand. Teacher: Do not worry do not understand, learning language is to listen, you hear me speak English every day long period of time will naturally understand. B students: But every day I hear the family dog is called, did not know it talking about. 21. my pocket pen down her throat! : Why do doctors wear masks during surgery? A: The fear of an accident after being identified. 22. Beggar: Sir, before you give me a hundred dollars, why do today, just give me fifty dollars? kind-hearted man: In the past I was bachelor, have more spare cash, and I am now married, it must cut expenses and make ends meet. beggars: how can you take my money to support your wife? 23. children: : Dad said do not forget the ironing later 『』 h quiet, they would not wake the students to sleep in front of it! lose it? full of sleepy turtle ah! down to earth .... 』his roommate of curiosity, could not help but look at pictures trying to take advantage of the fairies came down, ready tois a face first land? 』27. a particular midterm, we all remind each other not to forget to take a cautious calculator. because the teacher explain the subject of special exam will be counted to several decimal places. only to get the bulk of self-confidence We show off the new phone: After the bulk of the students asked concerned. I saw a look of the shadow of the big head, said: photos, pictures will be waiting for automatic flushing. Shortly after that, washed out photos. exclaimed: my ...... 29. a final exam, students face a papers on the subject, one question will not, simply write in the papers: reimbursement, the division back on the volume batch: do not want milk, help me for the two fried dough sticks to the waiter immediately 』milk into fritters. when the person eats it, actually Paipaipigu wanted leave, the waiter stopped him and said:『 President, you have not pay for it! 』this man staring at once said:『 I fritters is to use soy milk in return, how can you pay me? 』waiter said:『 milk but you did not pay ah! 』At this time, This is the bigger man eyes wide: 『I did not drink milk one, why pay ah!』 31. there was a slow old lady she had a ticket, one day she went to the car, she put the ticket to a slow the driver, the driver said: dragged into the trap of default by the press, so be careful. at the airport, a reporter saw the bishop to ask: sing love songs, she threw me a flower. B: ah! Mui A four times: before you how the three wives? B: They were dead A: how could this happen? B: The first wife is dead to eat poisonous mushrooms! A: Poor thing. that second wife? B: She is eating poisonous mushrooms die! A: The third wife? is poisoned by toxic mushrooms? B: No! break her neck and died! A: accidental ? B: Yes, ah .. nice because she refused to eat the poisonous mushrooms Well .... 35. airport control tower: please give me more detailed instructions? my last visit to Hawaii, when there is no stop at the airport, :, fighting, and even hate each other, to cause each other to death! but they also think they go on so long, not solution! So .. one day they similar, trying to find a permanent solution! A: This struggle down, not good for us, they might also cheaper third party .... B: You're right, in this love game, the two of us, the only one there! you have any way up once and for all? A: ah h Have you heard of Russian Roulette 』『 duel way? is to only put a pistol bullet. and then turns to his head, another shot, a first serve, whoever shot, he lost forever! B: ah h I know this rule. good! very fair! This is final! However, you have a gun here? saw A nodded and pulled out a Start flooded the city, a priest at the church to pray and watch the flood has Yandao his body, and suddenly a lifeguard sail boat with the priest said: !, and driving a police boat with the priest said: I!! ! Otherwise, you will drown in the flood!! , met with God is very angry and asked: a helicopter to rescue you, do not you want to take the aircraft carrier before it? ink sticks are washed with wash down the side of the side also said .. .... He decided to do a test, so he gave the U.S. five thousand yuan each and every girl and see how they handle the money .. re the first girl dressed from head to toe, she went to a beauty salon designed a new hairstyle, painted a beautiful makeup, also bought a new jewelry to dress for the man's neat. She told him: she did all to make him think she was more attractive, just because she is .. man so in love with him deeply moved. The second woman gave the man a lot of purchasing a gift, she bought him a set of golf balls, some computer accessories, and some expensive clothes .. When She took these gifts, she told him the reason to spend the money to buy gifts because she was so in love with him. men are deeply moved ~ the third girl invested the money into the securities market, she earned several times five thousand to five thousand yuan of money .. and then back to the man and the rest of the money to open a joint account the two men. She told him: she hopes to lay the economic foundation of the future of the two, because she is so love him .. of course, deeply moved by the man again ~ he considered the treatment of the three girls for a very long time, and then he decided. married to one of the biggest breasts girls wife!! PS: Men are the Death of Virtue!! 40. One day a madman to the plane, suddenly the captain announced that the plane is about to crash! the madman will immediately hear the toilet ran to the toilet to throw out two. I ask why? Answer: Because is no reason to act crazy ..! 41. One day, Little Britain cross the road, a car came towards him open. Xiaoying, shouting, the results hit the street car poles, the owner of a small territory of dead, Little Britain has also been knocked down utility poles crushed to death, this time a small wing heard this from, but eventually died! Why? answer: come out of the toilet was crushed to death! 42. A Very stupid robbers sneaked into a people, is turn on the safe, suddenly a lot of noise, the results caught the thief. Why? because he is not safe .... turn the radio! .. 43. A post-hunters hunting big beast and his wife, mother went to the woods hunting, and take a whole day, night, deep in the jungle camp. The next morning, his wife woke to find his mother gone, the hunter quickly wake up, go out to find someone. Results from an empty camp near on the ground, they see shocking scene: mother lion adults and a fierce face a stalemate. the fault of people, they want to solve it! ah! I was doing something wrong in the end, you have to punish me so! 〔〕 his eighth of the father that you own it! seventh 〔〕 not come over! come back, I die in front of you! 〔sixth Name〕 you hit me!? good! I go, I go now! 〔〕 fifth leave me! you go! Fast ah! fourth 〔〕 No! I do not believe it! I do not believe it! I do not believe (elongated sound) third 〔〕 BS! kill you to shave with it! second 〔〕 BS! look trick! 〔〕 first Gosh! Dad, Mum, they do not come hh 45. a foreigner traveling to the mainland, passing a factory, the factory somewhere there is a warning signs were written in English: the 『』 on electricity, but foreigners are still being electrocuted, and why? answer: Because English is: YOU DIAN WEI XIAN 46. Xiaojun first to Beijing, only to see the street into the city to schedule a lot of people. curious explore what happens, all the original recipe in the strike 』『 Wing Chun is not drowning, following the line also. turn Jun There is a shed when I saw the old man, a table and put a desk ~ ink stone, ink and a brush. elderly people to receive the cost of twelve Jun, after pulling up shirt to reveal belly Rong Jun, the elderly Mexican holding pen How to go Wing Chun to the front, with a focused look at the bottom of his ribs and then drew a line .... ~ stringent told him: 47.. there was a man sitting in a hot air balloon floating in the sky, knew it lost, he fell to the ground on hot-air balloon, a passerby to ask the way. ? would you know? What will know? body! You are the most stupid class? The students answered: proofs, since the proofs are very difficult, so many people are not. There is a such thing as students, make a cheat sheet (to answer pre-copied on a small sheet of paper) is just a test on his cheat sheet out of the question which proved question, so he wanted to stay to the last peace of mind to write. but soon received the final papers, he too late to copy, and sometimes anxious to pick up the glue which ....... the cheat sheet attached to the above question! result, he was remember a large too, but also become a campus legend .... 50. one day, and students went out to play .. chatting meal, the next table there is a desperate cry baby, so we really can not stand .. students in the cry I came Kebo smiling woman look told him: So the child to cry 啦 ~ hehe .. oh While we are all very useful laughed together when a child suddenly Kebo .. gentle and sincere girl, said: come .. and then landing on your chest Oh ~ The first member of the audience asked: I was not about to sit this row. Gentleman: Unfortunately, caught by security, was built a MTP 』『 Yinchong two characters. he was very upset, so spend some money through relationship, it is necessary to remove the term that the indecent. After a week, Friends told him to run. He thought, how can there be in the mainland as long as the money can not do a thing? results after he received MTP excitedly opened it, which impressively built a three characters: . He will return to Taiwan a month .... friends with him again and again to ensure that a certain right, but the etiquette absolutely essential. Then, after a week, friends came to him and said: ! Mother intercede, said: prohibiting fishing, but you catch here, I want to fine you 100 dollars. anglers: What is it! I was teaching my worm to swim it! Police: earthworms can lend me your look? fishermen: Certainly ..... the police thought a moment: your skinny earthworms, prejudice ...
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